Let me tell you side effects of masturbation Hello, I was born in 89 years, this year 31 years old, old leftover man. No car, no house, debt of more than 30,000 yuan. Education high school, height 1 meter 72. The high school graduated before the physical examination of the unified measurement of height, graduated 16 years, not the slightest bit long. Body type is thin, has been hovering between 50 to 55 kilograms. Ugly appearance, a face are pockmarks, pits, like the surface of the moon, especially after drinking when the red face is more scary. A 31 year old looks like he's 51. The temperament is obscene, and when I'm with my brother, people think I'm the older brother, when in reality my brother is three years older! Not to brag, but before I graduated from high school, I was kind of a clean-cut, naïve, simple and innocent little handsome guy, and some female classmates once said I was the best-looking boy in my class. If not naturally introverted and shy, the study period is estimated to have fallen in love quite a few times, to say that this is also God's will, do not let me create more sins. Although my talent is not too high, but due to the strict teachers, I am not the kind of person who dares to disobey the orders of the teacher, from the fourth grade of elementary school transferred to the town, the academic performance slowly improved, to the second semester of the first year of junior high school, but also from the balance of the class to the class of the top. Then it plummeted, for reasons that will be explained later. Now I have other problems physically:

1. introversion, timidity, low self-esteem;
2. unpleasant, shrill speech;
3. Tinnitus for many years;
4. myopia for many years, increasing over time;
5. the appearance of gray hair;
6. peeling skin on the soles of the feet, with foot odor;
7. Greasy, dull skin with constant acne;
8. tooth decay and loose teeth;
9. body odor;
10. insomnia and excessive dreaming;
11. Kidney deficiency, frequent urination, weak urination, incomplete urination;
12. prostatitis;
13. Poor temper;
14. dark circles under the eyes, with under-eye lines;
15. dull, cloudy eyes, covered with blood;
16. afterglow phobia. This disease makes me suffer every day, as if I am in hell, it is really a presentiment;
17. Asymmetry of the features and a crooked nose. The above are only the bad karma that I can feel and see, but I don't know how much I can't see. Originally born from mother's womb is a healthy doll. If each person is counted at 100 years old, 31 years, only after less than 1/3 of life, it is already full of evil diseases and looks old. Sometimes I ask myself, can I still be considered a normal person? Comparison of friends and classmates of the same age, one by one, basically have a family, and I have reached the age of the establishment, nothing even if, but also parents worry, worry, worry about the marriage, to help pay off the debt, really can not be called the son of a man, ashamed of the ancestors, ashamed of the venerable teachers, ashamed of the sages. What behavior created today's me, so that I became a man not a man, not a ghost? It all started when I was a child. When I was about five or six years old, someone in my village had a DVD projector at home, and once my brother and I went to their house to play, we saw that they were showing a bad movie, and from that time on, my young mind was polluted, and the cause of the evil was planted. At that time, my friends in the village also liked to play house, calling each other wives and husbands, which was also one of the evil causes. Once, I had a dirty affair with a little sister in the neighboring house. Luckily, my grandmother caught me in the act. Otherwise, after this time, I do not know whether there will be a second, third ...... God, at that time, we are estimated to be only 6 years old ah! It's really scary to think about it. Luckily the neighbor's little sister is married and has a happy family. The last time I saw her, she was still the same sunny and lively look. Come to think of it, I learned to masturbate from a young age, it's all traceable, not entirely uneducated. Later on, as I grew up, I had more and more opportunities to come into contact with unhealthy resources, such as novels, DVDs, magazines, movies, and so on. Once, I even inadvertently found a movie DVD at home that my parents had hidden away and secretly watched it when they were not at home. There are some things that you really need to be careful about when you are a parent! Later on, in my first year of junior high school, I became addicted to computer games and could not stop myself from playing them, and my academic performance fell to the ground. If only from the surface, addicted to computer games is the main reason affecting my academic performance, then masturbation is the fundamental reason affecting my physical and mental health. The combination of the two, in turn, counteracted my future and destiny. It would be strange if I could live a smooth and happy life. Generally speaking, knowledge changes fate, so everyone attaches great importance to the college entrance examination. Before the college entrance examination, I still sleep in class, stay up all night reading novels, completely unconcerned about where the twist of fate leads. When the scores of the college entrance examination came out, it was only enough for me to study in a junior college. At that time, my parents were divorced, and my family had no money to pay for my education, so I directly entered the factory as an apprentice and worked part-time. At this time, I was not serious because I didn't have a computer at home, plus I was addicted to martial arts and horror novels. It stands to reason that knowledge is important. But if a person can realize his faults and learn from his shame, he can still spend a few years to accumulate experience and skills through practice in the society, get a job with a good salary and live a good life. But at this time I, one foot into the abyss of computer games, the other foot is caught in the swamp of masturbation. Later, after a softly persuade, “study needs” as the reason, hard to make my mother to buy me a home computer. After installing the network cable, began computer games and watch pornography masturbation road. Recognized a female net friend, we ate the forbidden fruit. After I ate the forbidden fruit, I was even more crazy watching pornography and masturbating, and I also sent her a lot of unpleasant pictures and said those dirty words to her. This is really detestable, abominable and hateful! In terms of karma, only men and women with the same blessings can become husband and wife. Because of excessive masturbation, too many blessings were consumed in advance, and then we broke up, and it was good that she didn't follow this beastly person like me. Because of my evil thoughts and actions, I ruined other people's chastity. Even if my first love is already married, it will affect the feelings between other people's couples, right? Although I know that regret does not change anything in the past, I still want to deeply repent and apologize to her with a sincere heart here. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I wish you peace and happiness in the future and no more harm! Please forgive me for the harm I have brought to you, and I hope that in the future all the good deeds and blessings I have done will be shared with you and your family, and I wish you all a happy and prosperous family. In addition to the above, there are also during work:
18. discussing privately with coworkers about their female colleagues' body looks and conjugal affairs, etc;
19. change the normal lyrics to those foul language, but also in front of other coworkers to sing, without shame;
20. often because of something associated with erotic aspects. It is true that what people put in their hearts is what they see in the world.
21. before and after each seduced a female colleague and college students to the home, almost defiled people. Later, I realized that although I did not succeed, but it is also considered an evil thing, can not be excused. One line, one thought, all recorded, do not think that no one knows that God does not know. Scripture says: There is a reward after death, and the slightest thing suffers. This sinner here would like to advise you to change, not to add encouragement, do not deceive yourself and others.
22. Often use the computer to download bad movies, novels, pictures, audio, etc., addicted to them. Often do not sleep in the middle of the night, lying in bed, but also get up and open the computer to download, while watching masturbation, really worse than animals, disgusting and obscene to the extreme.
23. Buying bad magazines. I still remember the first and only time I bought this book, the bookstore owner looked at my eyes, that is puzzled, contempt. He was puzzled that I, a young man who seemed to have a great deal of talent, would actually read this kind of book. At that time, I could not wait to throw the book away, it is really embarrassing to the family.
24. When I was working at the milk tea store, I hooked up with a female coworker who was a few years younger than me. It's really sad and hateful! At that time, I had already studied Buddhism and understood the dangers, but I just couldn't control myself and was led by my karma, habits and desires, so I really can't forgive myself!
25. I've had three girlfriends and I've been single since I broke up with my ex four or five years ago. That's why I can't find a girlfriend and haven't gotten married yet. There are so many other nasty things that I won't go into detail, but they are too numerous to mention! I was not a blessed person, born in the countryside since I was a child, I can barely solve the problem of food and clothing and schooling, the rest is really too little. A person like me, who is not blessed, still dares to do all sorts of nasty things with impunity, which is tantamount to treating one's own life and future as a child's play. Although I work hard and am conscientious and responsible, I just can't get the respect of my supervisors, and even if I do, my salary has not been raised, and I have always been doing the lowest level, the lowest grade, and the bitterest and most tiring work. It can be said that I have been living on a meager salary for more than a decade. Further, even if I had been reappointed by my supervisor, what could I have accomplished in the company for someone like me who was so addicted to indulgence? If any company bosses know that I am such a person, not to drive me away would be good, simply like the plague, where to go to bring bad luck to where. A person's health, and even longevity, can probably be deduced by observing the facial color. For example, people with good fortune, most of the heavenly court full, round cheeks, eyes have God, two earlobes large and thick. Now I have no three or two meat, originally a little baby fat face, into a sharp mouth and monkey cheeks. Two or three years after graduation, a classmate wedding, one of my female classmates saw me almost do not recognize me, and asked me why I became this way. Although she took my feelings into consideration, I still experienced the implication: how did you go from being a fancy beautiful man to being as ugly as a pig. I hadn't yet studied Buddhism and didn't know the reason, so I really didn't know how to answer her, and it was very embarrassing. Because of the indulgence in lust has depleted the body's essence and wasted a lot of the body's essence,, so it has led to this ghostly appearance today. Observe my hands, thin and fleshless, finger joints thick, looks very incongruous, with the skeleton general. I have seen the palm of a Buddhist master's hand, just like a bear's paw, thick and rounded, this is the phase of blessedness and thickness. There is also the hair, because I am also a lover of beauty, usually also notice the difference between other people's hair and their own. I have found that people with sufficient kidney energy have straight and vibrant hair, while mine is hanging down. Mine, on the other hand, hangs down, and no matter how I comb it or take care of it, it looks lifeless. Since learning Buddhism, I have abstained from sex two or three times off and on. However, I have not been able to resist the temptation and have repeatedly broken the precepts. Personally, I concluded that the reason why I can't stick to it is that I still think I'm still living well, that is, I haven't deeply realized my present situation and condition, and I don't realize that I've already stepped into the abyss with one foot! I myself will sort out my present situation again:
26. malignant disease;
27. ugly in appearance;
28. short in stature;
29. heavily indebted;
30. old and unmarried;
31. having poor parents in old age;
32. not having a skill;
33. not having an educational background;
34. living at the bottom. These alone, in contrast to normal people, were enough to make me quit. Physical ailments and life's difficulties are always reminding me: do I still want my life? Do I still want my home? Do my parents still want to honor and support me? Do I still want to pay my debts? If this continues, how can I work? How can I continue to support my family? How can I support my parents? How can I pay my debts? I agree with the words of the great masters: a little physical illness is not necessarily a bad thing. It tells you that life is impermanent and helps us to cultivate. If I still can't get lost and cultivate good practices diligently, I am really failing the sages. So, from April 1, 2020 April Fool's Day, is considered to be the official abstinence from sex, and with the reading of the scriptures, chanting the name, life release, fitness, and soak goji berry water to drink to restore health. June also began to eat vegetarian meat, eggs and milk is not completely cut off. Some people say that I am too skinny and need to eat more meat, while I told him that I have been skinny since I was a child, and I eat a lot of meat, but I am still skinny. I have a cousin who is in her third year of junior high school, almost 5'7" tall, white and chubby, and basically ranked first and second in her grade on her exams. She was born a vegetarian, so I don't think eating meat, is the reason why it affects body size and intelligence. The first day of abstinence until today July 9, exactly 100 days, once did not masturbate. I have not masturbated once. Masturbation occurs frequently, but I basically stop when I think about it, and I don't dare to let it develop anymore. Physical recovery: kidney energy has been a little bit, although not enough, at least less nocturia; less colds and fevers; originally crooked nose is also upright; gray hair is no longer; prostatitis seems to have disappeared; skin does not grow pimples; speak voice began to thick; not so timid and introverted, and so on. Although the “afterglow phobia” that bothers me the most has not disappeared, I will not stop trying. Comparing the previous abstinence and this abstinence, I found that the root of abstinence lies in the heart. As the sutra says, "If you cut off the yin, it is better to cut off the heart. The mind is like the gongcao; if the gongcao stops, the followers will all stop. If the evil heart is not stopped, what good is it to break the yin? (Note: It is better to castrate the lower body in order to abstain from sex than to cultivate the heart and cut off lustful thoughts.) As long as I don't think about nasty things, there will be no breaking of the precepts at all. You have to realize that the thing called evil thoughts is pervasive; as long as you think about it, it will spread until you break the precepts. There is another important point, just as other brothers have said: don't try your own fixation! Don't think that if you look at it, listen to it, and don't masturbate, you'll be fine. When you think that way, technically, you've already lost your power. When you look at pornography, the bad seeds are already planted in your consciousness and will soon take root and break through the ground. Why I quit this time can do so resolute, because Ford consumed too much, so simply can not find a partner to love and marriage, and accompanied by growing older, can not help but be disheartened, although I resigned to fate, but also do not really succumb to fate. Fate, in the final analysis, is only a personal self-inflicted only. What they do, to the ripe opportunity to buy their own bill. People who do not know the cause and effect called “fate”, and know the cause and effect of the people, will not complain about God. As the saying goes, there is no door to misfortune, but the person himself calls. If you plant good causes, you will get good results; if you plant bad causes, you will get bad results. “Fate” is something that is more than fair to everyone. A certain senior brother said well: abstinence is a lifelong cause, until the day you die, you have to hold on. Don't ever think that you have achieved a little bit of “success” in the early stages of abstinence, and then become complacent and let your guard down. You should know that a reservoir breaks down and collapses in a split second. The water in the reservoir is like your blessings, you repair the dike, after years of hard to save up some blessings, if you think of breaking the precepts to make things, it is equivalent to the reservoir dike. Years of effort are wasted, not deeply regrettable? When really need to be always fearful, like the abyss, like walking on thin ice is. When you are alone, without the presence of others, you think that you can do whatever you want because no one can see you, so you can indulge yourself. This is a completely wrong idea. What everyone does is known to heaven and earth, and the net of heaven is wide open. Nowadays, a lot of little kids who have online relationships on the Internet, engage in ambiguity, and have one-night stands are walking step by step into the fire pit. They are walking on my old road, so I advise all the children to take me as a negative example, hanging on to the horse, turn back to the shore. It is human nature for a man to get married when he is old enough and for a woman to get married when she is old enough. But if you don't seek to be courteous and do excessive things, and if you are not upright in body, mouth and mind, you will eventually suffer the evil consequences as I did. Some people abstain from sex in order to wait for their bodies to recover and then be better able to do indulgent things. This mindset is wrong to begin with. To abstain from sex is not only to make one's body and ford better, but more importantly to understand the truth of how to live in the world. One must understand propriety, righteousness, honesty, and shame; one must cultivate one's body and cultivate one's character; and one must extend oneself to others.