I am a mother. I wanted to write this article a long time ago, firstly because my writing was too bad, and secondly because it was too painful to write. I decided to write it today so that more people would not suffer what we are suffering now.

My son was once a sunny, healthy, kind young man. When he was in college, he left his parents and lived in another place. He was exposed to pornographic videos, but because he lived in a dormitory, he did not masturbate excessively.

During his postgraduate studies, because he lived alone, he started to browse pornographic websites and masturbate when he had nothing to do. He became addicted to it. His desire for enjoyment made him masturbate more and more. He masturbated almost every day, and later it developed to several times a day. Gradually, his luck began to get worse, mainly because his academic performance began to go wrong. I won’t talk about those things here. Many of them are beyond reason and have always made us puzzled until we realized not long ago that it was inspired by indulgence. There are also inexplicable and wrong things, sometimes even big things, and mistakes in life planning. At the same time, his health began to deteriorate, he was always sick, and he had depression and anxiety.

After getting a master's degree and starting to work, he returned to his parents, and he still masturbated as usual, every day.

Later, he began to suffer from insomnia, nightmares, depression, fear.... A psychiatric expert diagnosed him with obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, and anxiety. Nightmares at night, insomnia, depression during the day, not wanting to live, obsessive thoughts intruding at any time, anxiety and fear accompanying at any time... Oh my God! I don't want to mention it again! It was a living hell on earth.

At this time, he had developed masturbation to 7 times a day, and he couldn't stop. In fear, he asked me for help. Knowing that my son had depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and anxiety, and he also masturbated 7 times a day, my heart was bleeding! I confess that I didn't care about my son well, didn't pay attention to my son, and thought that it was good to let him eat well, dress well, study well, and go to college. I ignored his quality education and the pollution of social network media. I didn't educate him and help him in this regard. I regret it!!!

He is in the unit, bad luck continues to take care of him, good luck always belongs to others. He has worked for a long time, but he has not learned anything. First, his brain power is not good, his intelligence has declined, second, he has no chance to learn, but others have, and third, there is no one and opportunity to teach him. His career is getting worse and worse.

At the same time, the torture of depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and anxiety is inhuman!

Those symptoms, sometimes I feel depressed and want to die, sometimes I blame myself, sometimes I doubt, sometimes I feel indifferent, depressed, and sometimes I feel that there is an incomprehensible darkness shrouding myself, and I feel abnormal in my mind for many years, and I feel that there is a foreign body in my head. Sometimes I feel panic and anxiety, sometimes I feel manic, angry, and smash things. The TV, computer, laptop, and furniture at home have all been smashed. The TV alone has been smashed 5 times. Now the new TV has to be left unused. Looking up at the dilapidated house, the walls were broken, the doors couldn't be closed, the coffee table and dining table were broken, incomplete, and shaking. As for the small things, they were smashed even more. Sometimes, when he was in a manic attack, he would hit his father.

Every time the mania passed, he would be extremely repentant and regretful, because he was a kind and good young man. He couldn't control himself during the illness, so he would be very sad and regretful after calming down, which aggravated his illness. Over and over again... Such a life is also accompanied by insomnia. I can't sleep every day, and when I fall asleep, I have nightmares. I am often awakened by nightmares in the middle of the night. As soon as I turn off the lights and lie down, I have a strong sense of fear, that kind of indestructible darkness, which makes me want to die, and I would rather die than live! ! ! Sometimes he would be a little calm, but that calmness was short-lived, because the compulsive thinking would suddenly break in, not his own thoughts that kept breaking in, and he would think about meaningless things, such as looking for the first half of the nightmare, which consumed most of his energy, or even all of his energy! He often said: I really want to die! These are just the descriptions of us bystanders, who feel that he is in pain, but the most painful feeling is himself, his inner feelings, which cannot be expressed in words! During this period, we have sought Western medicine, Chinese medicine, folk medicine, the Internet, Buddhism... We have been trying to find a solution. Thank you to everyone who has helped us.

After a year, I went to the temple to worship Buddha and walk around the pagoda. After insisting on worshiping Buddha and walking around the pagoda for a period of time, one day, when I was walking around the pagoda, I suddenly understood one thing, that is: my son's depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and anxiety were caused by excessive masturbation. This is the guidance given to me by the Buddha and Bodhisattva. Thank you!!! If you want to get well, you must quit masturbation! I started to look up information about this on the Internet, and read similar articles on the website of quitting evil sexual behavior. I understood more clearly that masturbation is the culprit! We must quit masturbation! Thank you!

After communicating with my son, he recalled his history of masturbation and the beginning of his bad luck. He suddenly realized that all his bad luck started with his addiction to masturbation. When he found the reason, he deeply repented! He cried and slapped himself in the face. He was so regretful! But the most important thing is action.

He began to quit masturbation with difficulty. He had to divide his energy into multiple parts. On the one hand, he had to endure obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety, and live a difficult life; on the other hand, he had to quit masturbation. It was so painful! If I had known this, why did I do it in the first place? This word was created for him, and he often said it on his lips. When he said this, he would also say: Why do you take suffering as happiness when you have such a good life? You deserve it! Since he knew that excessive masturbation had harmed him to this extent, and there was no hope of recovery, he often cried bitterly. A grown man, crying so hard, it was heartbreaking, but who told you to masturbate excessively? Another sentence he often said was: Some mistakes cannot be made! ! ! Masturbation is too harmful! ! !

I really hope that our children will stay away from masturbation, especially those college students and young people. They are educated, but they are influenced by the idea that "masturbation is harmless". At the same time, they are also disturbed by pornographic information on the Internet. It is easy to get infected with masturbation and premarital sexual misconduct. This harm is really too great. Looking at the suffering of my son, thinking that I almost lost this son, and thinking that our family almost disappeared, we dare not think that there will be others who will suffer like my son, and there will be such a family suffering like this. There are parents like me who suffer like this!

Here, I write this article to sound the alarm for them to stay away from sexual misconduct! Give everyone a pure body and mind! This is too important! My son is a fact of blood and tears!

At the same time, I also hope that all parents, whether your children are children or adults, will truly care about them in the right way, not only to let them eat well, dress well, not be wronged, study well, and go to college. Wrong! These are not fundamental. The most fundamental thing is to educate him in moral qualities. If this aspect is good, naturally other aspects will be good, and there will be good rewards. The special and special emphasis is: you must not masturbate, and you must pay special attention when surfing the Internet and watching TV. We cannot control the Internet and the media, but we can control them to surf the Internet less and be less polluted by the media. Dear parents, this is my heartfelt words, this is my bloody fact, I regret it so much! If I could see such a mother's article when my son was still young, my son would not have walked the path he is on now. Parents, please remember our lessons, remember!

If it were not for the blessings of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, my son might have been dead long ago, and I might not be alive either. Words are too pale to let me describe one tenth of that hell on earth!

In addition, my son is getting better and better now (and has stopped masturbating for a year). Although he has not completely recovered, he is much better than before. He has started to believe in Buddhism. I won't say more here. Thank you! Thank you to all the people who have helped us! Thank you for the blessings of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas! Namo Amitabha! I believe that he will return to normal soon.